If you’ve never used positive
affirmations, it’s understandable that they might seem…strange. I get it. In
the past, I always had a really high “woo woo” meter, scoffing at anything I
thought was “out there” or “hippie dippie”. Which is ironic, because I now love
all that hippie dippie woo woo shit. I. Am. Here for it! But guys, positive
affirmations are not “woo woo”. In fact, there is plenty of research and neuroscience
to back them up.
I was first encouraged to use affirmations
when I started going to therapy. It felt silly looking in the mirror and saying
things about my self-worth, but I did it anyways because I figured if I wasn’t
going to be all-in with tools therapy was giving me, what was the point in
paying for it and showing up every week. Therapy is so much more about
self-work than blabbing on for an hour, so I buckled down and said kind things to
myself.
Affirmations help us to have a flexibleself-identity and help us adapt to situations better. Using phrases to affirm your values helps lower our defensiveness. Affirmation statements even activate reward centers within our brains. Positive Psychology has an amazing, in-depth article on the power of positive affirmations if you are
looking for a place to start!
Some research suggests beginning with neutral self-talk if
your self-esteem and self-talk is low and extremely negative. Going to therapy
to understand where these self-talk tapes come from can be helpful, as is
self-compassion (you can find more in Kristin Neff’s book here). Both of these tools were
incredibly helpful for me. But for now, using curiosity (about WHY your inner
dialogue is negative, and whether more positive beliefs could begin to be true)
and neutral affirmations could be your next step!
Personally, I use affirmations in a couple of ways. Sometimes I
write them all out and read them outloud in the mirror while I'm getting ready.
I stay away form hopeful or future language and focus on the present. In stead
of, "I'm trying to honor my commitments to myself" change it simply
to “I honor my commitments to myself.” There is power in looking into the
mirror and declaring something about yourself. It feels strange at first if you
don't believe it, but repeat it a few times and see how that feeling changes.
This is the power of affirmations.
I also sometimes pick a specific affirmation based on the season I feel I'm in. If I'm really struggling with trying to do everything myself, I may write "I ask for help when I need it" on a notecard and carry it around with me. Everytime I see it throughout the day, I repeat it to myself. The next time someone asks if I need help and I open my mouth to say no, I typically remember the affirmation and try to honor it by finding a way in which I'm comfortable getting help.
I also sometimes pick a specific affirmation based on the season I feel I'm in. If I'm really struggling with trying to do everything myself, I may write "I ask for help when I need it" on a notecard and carry it around with me. Everytime I see it throughout the day, I repeat it to myself. The next time someone asks if I need help and I open my mouth to say no, I typically remember the affirmation and try to honor it by finding a way in which I'm comfortable getting help.
Below are some affirmations for
different areas of life, and you can find some affirmations specific to Enneagram twos on my blog! What is YOUR favorite affirmation? Share it with me below!
Career
1. I am creating my life exactly as I want it.
2. I embrace the power of my voice.
3. I can do hard things.
4. If I keep doing this, it will become easier.
Relationships
1. I am not responsible for how others react to me.
2. I matter. I am allowed to say "no" to others and "yes" to myself.
3. I am grateful that love is all around me.
4. I happily give and receive love each day.
Self-Worth
1. I am enough.
2. I am allowed to make mistakes.
3. I am worthy of self-care and compassion
4. I deserve to be treated well because I am worth loving.
Your past
1. I am not defined by my mistakes.
2. I forgive myself so that I can forgive others.
3. I give up the hope of a different past by accepting my true past.
4. I have the courage to heal and become whole again.
For those with anxiety
1. I release my negative thoughts, embracing positivity and optimism.
2. I allow myself to feel my emotions without letting them control me.
3. I breathe in peace, I breathe out tension.
4. I am safe and in control.
I also love a quote print so I have loads in my Etsy shop, like the ones seen below.
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