This post contains affiliate links, more information can be found in the disclosure policy.
When I first read about the Enneagram and started exploring what number I might be, The Helper, or 2, immediately stood out to me. It really struck a chord...but not a good one. I felt like an open book, but I didn't like what was being pointed out. For MONTHS I told people I was "maybe" a 2, and explored other numbers secretly hoping to find something else that fit but I never did. I once read a joke that all enneagram numbers think theirs is the worst and it must be true; my husband is a 7 and he once told me his had to be the worst number of them all.
The Enneagram is by far my favorite tool for self-realization and character development. In order to find your number you need to be very self aware. The Enneagram is not a simple either/or of various character traits. The Enneagram is related to your deepest core fears and beliefs. It is a tool that reads your secret motivations, and is all about understanding how to become the healthiest (insert number here) you can be!
The Enneagram doesn't allow you to say, aw shucks, sorry I was so shitty back there, it's because I'm a 2/4/9/whatever. It is a tool to identify where you need growth. You must do the work to become healthy. So, for all my 2s out there, I have some affirmations for you!
I use affirmations in a couple of ways. Sometimes I write them all out and read them outloud in the mirror while I'm getting ready. These are written as statements that are true about you, or as things you are currently doing. If you change the wording to say "I'm trying to honor my commitments to myself", the affirmation loses effectiveness. There is power in looking into the mirror and declaring something about yourself. It feels strange at first if you don't believe it, but repeat it a few times and see how that feeling changes. This is the power of affirmations.
I also sometimes pick a specific affirmation based on the season I feel I'm in. If I'm really struggling with trying to do everything myself, I may write "I ask for help when I need it" on a notecard and carry it around with me. Everytime I see it throughout the day, I repeat it to myself. The next time someone asks if I need help and I open my mouth to say no, I typically remember the affirmation and try to honor it by finding a way in which I'm comfortable getting help.
So print off this list, attach it to your mirror, heck, make it your phone background if you need it! But give it a try at the very least!
My therapist is a huge proponent of research, so here is some empirical evidence from an article about the benefits of using affirmations.
- Self-affirmations have been shown to decrease health-deteriorating stress (Sherman et al., 2009; Critcher & Dunning, 2015);
- Self-affirmations have been used effectively in interventions that led people to increase their physical behavior (Cooke et al., 2014);
- They may help us to perceive otherwise “threatening” messages with less resistance, including interventions (Logel & Cohen, 2012);
- They can make us less likely to dismiss harmful health messages, responding instead with the intention to change for the better (Harris et al., 2007) and to eat more fruit and vegetables (Epton & Harris, 2008);
- They have been linked positively to academic achievement by mitigating GPA decline in students who feel left out at college (Layous et al., 2017);
- Self-affirmation has been demonstrated to lower stress and rumination (Koole et al., 1999; Weisenfeld et al., 2001).
Not sure what your number is, or looking for more resources? Here are some great books and websites!
The Enneagram Institute
Eclectic Energies
The Narrative Enneagram
Personality Types by Riso and Hudson
The Road Back to You by Cron and Stabile
The Sacred Enneagram by Heuertz
The Path Between Us by Stabile
The Enneagram by Rohr and Ebert
So for my twos, are there any specific affirmations you use or need to hear? Let me know in the comments!
